That is at the centre of what is wrong with these relationships.
An older man, while comfortable in possible emotional proximity of their ages, is the most motivating factor of the relationship by simply being older.
It took years before I came to shed that role and undo that relationship.
I wonder who I would have been had I not started with an older man at 16? I made my headstrong decision at 16, and my cloudy, needy decision at 22, to be with those men, and the sense of regret is often overwhelming.
I wasn’t troubled, promiscuous, or from an unhappy home.