But there’s a problem with that “in my league” piece. If you showed my pic to 100 women and asked them to rate my raw physical attractiveness on a scale of 1-10, I suspect you’d get a lot of 5s, some 4s, maybe a few 6s. Those who have known me the longest, like my sisters and old friends (Jim Booth, for instance) can testify that I have spent my adult life overachieving on the pretty woman front.Being as objective about this as I can, my best guess is that the final average would be between 5 and 6, probably closer to 5. There have been a couple 6s (although once you got to know them that number rose), there have been a lot of 7s and 8s, and there have been a few here and there who were showstoppers.
(In fact, it just happened again a second ago.) And when I contact women that I do find attractive, I get crickets chirping. If this is all you know about the situation, you’re likely suspecting that I need to be realistic and stick to women who are in my league.
This is not an irrational conclusion, given that data. And if you’re thinking “he’s okay, but nothing special,” then I suspect you’re like most of the women who see my profile. I’m not bad looking, but neither do I have the sort of face that makes the female pulse skip a beat when I enter a room.
This potential mate claims to live in another part of the country or to be abroad for business or a military deployment.
But he or she seems smitten and eager to get to know you better, and suggests you move your relationship to a private channel like email or a chat app.
The thing is, we also know that these rules get violated.