It leaves many of us tragically uneducated about sex and the things surrounding it, preventing many people from truly exploring their sexuality and learning about their own desires and the things that would help them achieve optimum sexual pleasure., in which cis straight women have significantly fewer orgasms than cis straight men and queer women because cis male pleasure is central to standard conceptions of heterosexuality, and because there is a general lack of knowledge about the clitoris.
The solution to closing this gap, according to many feminist writers, would be a shift that I agree with this prescribed solution, but I also want us to push the conversation even further.
If you’re going to have oral and/or anal sex, get tested regularly and always use condoms and dental dams to help protect yourselves from sexually transmitted infections.
If you do decide to have vaginal sex, it’s important to protect yourself from both STDs and unintended pregnancy.
That means communicating about and listening to the desires, expectations, needs, and boundaries of your partner(s)—whether romantic or (queer)platonic—and doing so intentionally and ethically.
As a society, we don’t have nearly enough discussions about sexual health and boundaries, neither publicly nor privately.
This silence effectively takes serious conversations about the realities of sex completely off the table for most of us, and so we learn what we know about sex from pornography, mainstream entertainment, and old wives tales whispered to us by older kids who learned from the same methods, or by stumbling through our first sexual experiences with no preparation at all.