You tell yourself that he is the funniest or sweetest or sexiest guy you’ve ever dated; that he totally understands you; and that you get along with him more easily than with anyone else in the past.
Why you do it: If you idealize romantic partners when you first meet them, it’s often a sign that you have been burned or neglected emotionally in the past, and that you’re holding out hopes that someone can magically fill the voids.
As a parent, for example, I can’t tell you the number of times each week I tell my 5 and 7-year-old kids how smart, sweet and all-around awesome they are.
This emotional hunger suggests that you don’t feel that you have a fulfilling social circle or extended family of your own.
Instead of hoping to submerge yourself wholeheartedly into someone else’s social group, make a conscious effort to beef up your own so that you don’t have to depend on a romantic partner to provide you with an overall sense of belonging.
When you first meet someone, it’s actually pretty easy to paint that person with one large brushstroke because you really don’t know that much about him.
In other words, because you don’t have much information, you decide to fill in the blanks by using your own imagination.
You constantly text him – or think about texting him.