It’s only been a year and I don’t believe that anyone is healed and completely accepting after a year. It sounds to me like subconsciously you knew there was something going on with her and your ex for a long, long time. I would say, (and I know this is really really hard to hear) but you’re going to have to learn to live with it and be civil to her. Because don’t you want them to have a relationship with their dad no matter what? I know it will hurt like hell to be nice, but you can do it. Something similar happened to me when I was first separated.
I think it takes many years to fully accept and heal. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have tried so hard to save her marriage. When it comes to girlfriends, I feel pretty strongly about the importance of having truly loyal friends who are there for you when you need them most: the ones who are giving and selfless and really come through in a time of need. I don’t care how attracted I was to her husband, I would realize that he isn’t the only man on earth and I would move the hell on. The girl wasn’t as good of a friend as yours sounds, but it seriously drove me insane. Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-In-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling.
It sends the right message across without really using any words.
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I’m not saying you aren’t a good person or a good friend, but you knew. But, you protected yourself because you couldn’t bear the thought. That is immensely hurtful, devastating and frustrating, but if you think about it, what have you really lost? This girl shows really unethical and bad character. I later realized what a waste it was making myself nuts over it. The author of the novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase, Pilossoph also writes the weekly dating and relationships advice column, “Love Essentially”, published in the Chicago Tribune Pioneer Press and the Chicago Tribune online.
And then you tried to fix her marriage so that it wouldn’t happen. My advice to you is, try not to focus on THEM, but instead on YOU and your kids. Additionally, she is a Huffington Post contributor.
Tasha Rube is a Licensed Master Social Worker in Missouri.
She received her MSW from the University of Missouri in 2014.
[Read: 6 easy ways to accidentally kiss a friend and get away with it] Give your attention One of the first steps in knowing how to date a friend is to let your friend know that you favor them and pay more attention to them than you do to anyone else.