(I stay far away from men in the immediate aftermath of a breakup following any long-term relationship, divorce or not.
It’s too messy.) DDs (divorced dads) in that six-month-to-three-year window are ideal for independent people like myself.
I didn’t care that he was divorced and had kids, I told him. Things didn’t end up working out with this particular man, but the date sparked a realization: By and large, divorced dads just have their shit together so much more than their childless, never-married peers.
Every mental health professional underscores the same rule: wait.
“Don’t hurry to introduce someone new to your kids,” says Aaron Welch, a licensed therapist with The Lifeworks Group in Winter Park, Fla.
Even though it may take patience and time before children are introduced to a new partner, should divorced dads even talk about their dating life? If a father knows he’s found someone he can trust around his kids and is certain they will be present in his life for a long time, most experts recommend waiting at least six months before coordinating a meeting between children and the new partner.
Nancy Fagan, divorce consultant and owner of San Diego’s Divorce Help Clinic, says that six months is essential, but it must be six months of exclusive dating. “If any of the children are still in pain over the separation or divorce, dads will need to wait longer,” Fagan says.
I’m someone who, in the past, would lose her identity over the course of dating a new person.