This statement means so much, because most of the time the problem is when there is friction between child and step partner.
The main thing for you to accomplish is to get on the same page as your boyfriend.
Each of you may need to make an outline of exactly what you feel is a fair consequence of the child's misbehavior then compare the lists to hopefully form some type of overall guide.
Dating a man with child from previous relationship
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First, I'd address the issue of the repremanding the children: It is his child, and as such the disciplining and rules are between them.
BUT if a child is disrespectful and rude (yelling, hitting) then I can understand any person telling them it is not nice to do xyz...
After calling and looking for him, I saw he was behind closed doors with his daughter.