So when a copy of “Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love,” crossed my desk, I was immediately interested.The authors, psychologists John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman, have researched relationships for over 40 years and created “Eight Dates” to help couples navigate difficult conversations with eight seemingly simple dates.
But to my surprise, Mike kept offering to answer questions first like “How are the ways we manage conflict similar and different?
” I found his answers extremely insightful and they helped me look at our relationship more in terms of our personal histories (like how our parents’ fighting styles may have affected us).
” and “Can you tell me about a time you didn’t trust me and how I could have resolved that situation?
” When I saw the topic for date two was “addressing conflict,” I instantly assumed I’d be more open, since Mike tries to avoid conflicts of any kind at all costs.
Mike and I fall somewhere in between, and I was excited to try the structured format to see how it worked for us.